Miss Independent...kind of

I took a shower yesterday by myself. It seemed like a really good idea at the time. Dustin had helped me in and out of the shower last time and it didn't look that difficult so I decided I could do it alone.

I first tried to get in and out of the shower with my clothes on. I didn't want to get all undressed, get stuck half way through and then have to quit and get redressed. The trial run seemed to go alright so I decided to go for it.

I believe it started to go downhill right away. I felt quite a few aches just trying to get undressed. The upper body is easy but once you go below the waist, it's nothing but trouble. The hardest part is trying to get my TED hose off (my doctor insists I wear them). If you're not familiar with TED hose, they are a tight sock that you wear - I have to wear mine all day with the exception of my one hour of free time. Yippee. Mine go to my knee but there are thigh high ones. I think they are supposed to ward off any blood clots. I can get them down to my ankles but it's hard to get them off from there. One reason is they are really, really tight. The other reason is my left leg is practically dead weight and I can hardly lift it up at all. If I even try to lift it up a little, I'm met with some resistance and a whole lot of pain so I have to bend all the way over to try to get these puppies off my foot. I can't bend very far so I have to try to remove them with the toes of my other foot. I'm sure the scene is quite comical.

Once I was ready, I attempted to get into the shower. I have to put my bad leg in first because of the position of the shower head. I got my left leg in about halfway and then felt a sharp pain in my hip because apparently, my hip didn't like to go in that particular direction at that particular angle. I didn't yelp out loud but I did inside. After some deep breathing to try and ward off the pain, and a couple more tries, my leg was finally in the tub. If I ever build a house in the future, I think one of the bathrooms is going to have a walk-in shower; both of ours right now are tub showers. You never know when you will need it.

Once I got my left leg in, it was easy to get my right one in. Once I manage to get myself comfortably seated on the shower chair, which is a task in its self, I began to shower. Do you know how much bending there is involved in a shower? First off, you have to bend just to remove your clothes. Then, I had to bend a bit to get my shampoo, conditioner and body wash. I had to bend to wash my both of my legs and feet and then I had to bend to reach my washcloth when I dropped it - I suppose that's my own fault. That's a lot of bending for a person that just had 4 screws in her hip.

Meanwhile, outside the bathroom, World War 3 began in my living room. Why is it that as soon as a parent jumps in the shower, the children start to fight like cats and dogs. I heard so much yelling and screaming! One was standing in front of the TV while the other was trying to play the X-Box. The one playing the X-Box gently removed the one in front of the TV (or so I'm told later on), and then the one that used to be in front of the TV attacked the X-Box player. The X-Box player then decided to end everything with a pillow shot to the head of the TV blocker. This caused the TV blocker to scream and cry.

Then, the youngest Heeringa decided to get dressed but couldn't button her capris. Helpful middle sister tried to help but what she got in return was a scream in the ear. The middle sister had just gotten the snot beaten out of her with a shot to the head with a pillow so she started to cry again. The oldest then tried to help the youngest but of course, the youngest wanted to do it by herself so she squawked at the oldest. Since no one was able to help her, (in actuality, she's four and didn't want help) and she couldn't do it herself, she decided to squawk, scream and cry until she was able to button her capris. (I'm not sure why I didn't use names, it's not like you don't know who I'm talking about. ) During this entire debacle all of our windows in the house were wide open, so you know the neighbor's heard exactly what was going on. Why does that always happen?

I think the phrase, "I'm going to take a shower, please behave" is the international phrase for "Ignore what Mom said about being good and fight like wild banshees." Next time I think I'll go in unannounced.

Back to my shower...
I managed to get washed up and out of the bath with some pain but then had to get dressed. You don't know how much independence you have until it's taken away. I'm not able to get my clothes out of my drawers because they are too low so I have to call Kaitlyn to do it. She has to lay them on my bed where I can reach and pick anything up that I drop. I have a cedar chest at the end of my bed so I'm able to sit there and get dressed. There's a lot of up and down movement while trying to get on underwear & pants. The whole ordeal is quite a task. I think it probably takes me 15 min. just to get dressed and these are easy clothes - underwear, yoga pants with no buttons or zippers and a t-shirt.

When everything was said and done and I issued the order for a cease fire and sent everyone to their appropriate rooms to think about what they had done, I finally sat down to assess the bodily damage I had done. I ached, I throbbed and I paid for my shower for the next hour or so until my pain medicine took over. I've learned that I'm not quite independent enough to take a shower without the aide of my husband.

Oh well, baby steps, right?